Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
keep an eye on the clouds
Something I read the other day brought to mind some of the crazy memories I have from the wilderness trip I helped lead this past summer in Canada. Everything is different when you're camping. Everything is more basic, seems to take longer, and little things can become a big deal. If it's a backpacking or canoeing trip where you pick up and move your campsite each day, it can be a hassle to set up and tear down so often. Don't get me wrong- I love it. Everything's just different...

The weather is another thing: it's easy to take the weather for granted when you're at home, but when you have limited protection from the elements, suddenly the nature of the clouds becomes a huge consideration--and as a leader, your eye is always on them--ready to respond...and this usually makes you determine when to keep going and when to set up camp.
This all set a cool backdrop for me as I was reading in the Old Testament about the way the Lord led His people through the wilderness. The Israelites were a nomadic people, essentially camping for 40 years in the desert, continually on the move, living in tents and constantly setting up and tearing down their tabernacle--or place of worship--according to the detailed instructions the Lord gave them. How did they know when to move and where to go?
The presence of the Lord rested above their tabernacle in the form of a cloud, and Numbers 9 recounts this well: "Whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped...Sometimes the cloud stayed only from evening till morning, and when it lifted in the morning, they set out. Whether by day or by night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out...At the Lord's command they encamped, and at the Lord's command, they set out."
As I read this, I was thinking: "How cool would it be if it were that easy for us today?" In the midst of making decisions, what if all we had to do is look up at the cloud above us to know if we should stay or if we should go? I was also thinking that it must have cultivated in these people a certain watchfulness- dependent on the movement of the cloud for their own movement. The decisions they made and their obedience were based on the clear direction of their Guide.Then I realized, a little sheepishly, that we do have the same Guide. But instead of a cloud that goes above us, He is the Spirit that lives inside of us. His promise is that "whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:21). And so, as His people, we are still called to follow Him in obedience--setting out when He sets out, and staying encamped when He remains.
So that sounds like a great idea, but what does it really look like? I found a few more people who are talking about this...
In Acts 20, we hear Paul saying to the church in Ephesus: "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
He is led by the Spirit. And for what purpose? To complete the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
Oswald Chambers puts it this way: "Paul says he counted his life dear only in order that he might fulfill the ministry he had received...Practical work may be a competitor against abandonment to God, because practical work is based on this argument- 'Remember how useful you are here, or--Think how much value you would be in that particular type of work.' That attitude does not put Jesus Christ as the Guide as to where we should go, but our judgment as to where we are of most use. Never consider whether you are of use; but ever consider that you are not your own but His."
This both floors and frees me! Our God is actively involved in our lives, guiding and directing us, in the business of aligning our plans with His, if we but submit to His authority. He sees the big picture. He sees and knows the end goal, and He knows the best means to those goals. We would be foolish to take this process in our own hands! What if each of our decisions were made by the leading of the Spirit--our Guide--who knows the way? What if we trusted Him to lead us, every step of the way, remembered His faithfulness to us this far, and expected Him to speak, lead, guide, and provide?! And what if our abandonment to Him focused our eyes on the cross and on the purpose for which we were created: the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
In the midst of making many big decisions, these truths speak to me in poignant ways. My boyfriend Kyle and I have decided to accept leadership positions at HoneyRock again for the summer, which is so exciting! However, our plans after that are not as defined :) But, surprisingly, they are still as exciting! For we know our Guide, and are continually reminded that He knows the way. It's tough to trust Him for these big decisions, but the process of learning to depend fully on the Spirit is increasingly worth it.
Even on these (rare) cloudy days in Southern California, I see thunderclouds and think of the unsettling feeling the same kind of clouds gave me when I was sitting in a canoe in Canada. They remind me I am not in control, even though I try to be. The Creator directs the clouds. He determines when and where they go. Our Creator directs us. He determines when and where we go. Friends, let's be watching for His movement.
Friday, December 12, 2008
contenting...

this is the word i made up (or at least modified) when i was backpacking in yosemite with my college roommates our senior year. my simple and thorough definition: the state of being content. i thought there should be a word for this, for i feel it happens often, and people don't know what to call it... and so this afternoon i couldn't help but share some examples of what contenting looks like in my life these days.
i am so happy that one of my favorite orange county coffee shops-chapman coffee house- is open this afternoon, is awesome, and has free wireless internet. it makes job searching SO much better:) i am also so happy for my massive "for here" mug of CALM tea-my favorite kind of tazo tea, and the kind i drank almost everyday of my freezing and wonderful winter at HoneyRock- good memories with every sip! and in some odd and slightly amusing way, hearing "Let it Snow" and "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" while looking out the window at a sunny southern california 70* makes me smile. is it really the middle of december? i keep forgetting :)
i got to make Christmas cookies yesterday with my roommate. well, actually- grandma made them, but we got to cut them out and make them pretty and funny and listen to Christmas music and talk about life for a few hours. it made me happy in my soul. i wish you could see the cookies; grandma says they are too pretty to eat, but we'll just see...
the other day my boyfriend kyle and i explored a huge old sweet Christian bookstore, hiked to watch the sun set over LA and the ocean from the balcony of griffith observatory, and caught his buddy's show in downtown hollywood. this was an incredible day.
oh i could go on and on, but i think what i read in Matthew 6 this morning is the biggest reason i am contenting today: Jesus tells his followers to not worry, to not run and chase after what we need. He tells us to first seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added as well.
this is encouraging as well as convicting. encouraging-for as i strive to know Jesus and be about the radical kingdom He represents, i can be confident of his knowledge of my need, and his faithful provision (an especially comforting thought in the midst of unemployment).
convicting-for i also realize my arms are LOADED with provisions that He has already given me, and i sense today his deep desire to use me and the resources i have as His tool to provide for others. i don't know how to do this well. my selfish hands hold too tightly to His time and money and relationships that He's entrusted me with.
the conclusion i've come to this afternoon- contenting doesn't just mean sitting back and appreciating the good (though this should happen-often!), but i think it should also be defined by the freedom and joy of giving ourselves away and holding loosely to the "treasures" we've been given. then, like the apostle Paul, we may be closer to learning the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (philippians 4:12-13).
i am curious-in what ways are you contenting these days?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
to find a job...
this has been the goal of the last 8 weeks since i've been in CA. they say this is not a good time to look for jobs. they say the economy is in recession. they say the places i want to work (mostly non profits) are not hiring but in fact struggling financially to keep running. they say they are pursuing other candidates at this time. they say 85% of jobs are not posted, but mostly found through networking. they also say that the effort put into the job search often directly reflects the effort that will be put into the job.

ok that last thing they say is very effective in encouraging me out of bed and out the door in the mornings. but the lack 0f structure to the job search can quickly turn the motivation factor to a discouragement by week 8. there are millions of job search resources out there (at least it feels like it), and after one more afternoon online just barely getting my feet wet in the ocean of possibilities, i feel as overwhelmed as if a 6 foot wave has just buried me and flattened me to the shore. makes me want to do it the next day and the next.... :) every day i ask: where do i start? what do i even want to do? who should i talk to? how can i be diligent to pursue opportunities day after day after day after day? what am i doing to make TODAY count?
in the midst of this crazy and often discouraging world of job searching, i find myself not only listening to the truth of what those people are saying, but even more intently to greater truth: they say that God is bigger than the economy. they say that He has plans that prosper (jer. 29:11). they say that He provides everything i will need (2 cor. 9:8). they say He is able to do immeasurably more than anything i could ask or imagine (eph. 3:20). they say that everything else is a loss compared to knowing Christ (phil. 3:8). they say the Lord will fulfill His purpose for me (ps. 138:8). they say to remember all the ways the Lord has been faithful (deut. 4). the Holy Spirit keeps speaking through countless ways and people to remind me that there is a bigger picture than i can see, a bigger story that i am apart of, a bigger God than i could imagine.
this is ultimately what gets me out of bed each morning.
for the command to be faithful in the definitive and big responsibilities we have is the same command to be faithful in the little things that don't often feel as productive, like cleaning the bathroom and grabbing a smoothie with my grandma and putting my shoes on each day to get out of the house and see what kinds of things God is doing in Santa Ana, CA.
this is my community. this is where i live right now, where the Lord has put me. and so i wonder today how i am being faithful to live these abstract days in light of eternity. i am simply asked to be faithful. faithful to seek Him, faithful to be intentional with the relationships i have, faithful to represent Christ to the strangers i pass on the street, faithful to be committed to the local church, faithful to pursue how God could use me to increase His glory in my sphere of influence, faithful to use the gifts He has given me, faithful to look for a job and knock on every opportunity-day after day. these days count! they're just not defined by a career, that's all.
this blog entry is because i just needed a pep talk today...to remember that my God is in control, that He asks me to be faithful, and to keep looking for a job :)
Monday, September 15, 2008
moving mountains
1 summer camp program.
6 intense weeks.
9 high school girls.
2 developing leaders.
3 beautiful countries.
1 indescribable God.
In an effort to sum up this summer, I cannot do it without sharing the chorus to this song that my great friend/co-leader Robyn and I started singing in our excitement and anxiousness for the summer. It soon became the anthem for our entire team-powerful truth we claimed that carried us through some crazy times: OUR GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE.
These words were true when we were paddling across quiet lakes in the pristine Canadian wilderness, when we were daily reminded of God’s provision in sustaining His creation- loons and beavers and eagles and moose- and in providing sunshine and rain to care for His earth; they were true in the long and frustrating portages from one lake to the next (some days as many as 9), in the beauty of the awe-inspiring night sky, in the conversations around a campfire about the immensity of our great God and the vastness of His character. They were true when we sang them at the top of our lungs while literally in the center of a threatening lightning storm, in the life-on-life conversations with a canoe partner for the entire day, in the responsibility of leadership, and our dependence on prayer. They were true when we were running low on food and water, when we were waiting out a storm, when we were laughing so hard it hurt. OUR GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE.
They were still true, if not more so, as we transitioned to the mountains of Costa Rica, as we fumbled through valiant attempts at communicating in Spanish, as we daily awoke on the top of a cloud-engulfed mountain which produced breathtaking views of countless ridges that led our eyes all the way to the Pacific Ocean, as we joined our Costa Rican brothers and sisters in worship and began relationships with the Lord’s remnant of believers in this small mountain community, reminded that He has been at work here long before we showed up! They were true as the girls led a
We saw God answer prayers and move mountains in some of these girls’ lives. We saw God provide for us- every step (and paddle, and shovel-full) of the way. Thank you for your prayers; I can’t even put into words what this summer was; we may never even know all that the Lord did, but He DID- His purposes. He was MIGHTY TO SAVE.
And still is as I enter into the next adventure...though I have no idea what it is :). I'm soaking up Colorado for awhile then to California, excited to see what the Lord has next...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
canada+costa rica=summer!!
Along with the rest of the summer staff, we've been spending the last few weeks and months in preparation and training for a pretty intense summer ministry at HoneyRock. I took a 10-day course to be certified as a Wilderness First Responder (meaning I'm supposed to know what to do if something goes wrong in the backcountry- yikes!); we've been bonding on the high ropes course, planning Bible studies and trip routes, refining wilderness skills like orienteering (getting good at maps and compasses), canoeing, cooking with stoves, building fires and shelters, problem solving, etc. We're getting excited for the real deal...
Starting next week, my friend Robyn and I will be the leaders for a 6-week Ministry Training Program (MTP), where we and 9 high school girls will begin by embarking on a 13-day canoe trip through Quetico Park in Ontario, Canada. then head to the mountains of Guanacaste, Costa Rica for a 2-week mission trip, partnering with an organization called LeaderTreks and helping local churches put in a clean water system for their school.
Discipleship. Wilderness. Intimacy with God. Community. Service. Missions. Challenge. Girls.
There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing this summer! I feel like we stand at the edge of something HUGE that God is going to do. It’s crazy how He uses the challenge of the wilderness to deepen our dependence on Him, His creation to inspire us to awe and worship, the gift of authentic relationships to reveal more and more of His love and grace toward us, and the beauty of partnering with believers in another culture to remind us that He is pursuing His worship in every nation! It's crazy that He chooses to use people like us- messed up, selfish, broken yet beloved children of God- to jump on board with His huge plans for the lives of these girls, and serve Him.
…and yet this can only happen by the strong hand of the Lord…
so I ask for your fervent prayers!!
-for wisdom and peace in planning everything this week (a bit crazy!)
-for safety and wisdom as we take a group of girls to the wilderness and while in
-for unity among our team; that would be of one heart and purpose
-that we would experience and know God more intimately because of these experiences and that we and those we serve would be transformed more and more into the likeness of Christ
-for the community of La Esperanza, Costa Rica, with whom we get to do life for a few weeks- that we would be faithful witnesses of Christ, and we may be mutually strengthened by each other's faith
-and the list could go on... but the Lord knows our needs...seek Him!
Please let me know how I can be praying for you this summer! I'll be away from communication for most of the summer, but look forward to connecting in a few months to share what God's done...
Friends...let's be expectant-for God is on the move!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
grad school; north woods style
as we finished our class here this week (officially called The Theology and Practice of Outdoor Ministry, i call it Life Class), one of our assignments was to come up with 10 take-aways from the readings and discussions; and as it was helpful to reflect, I thought I'd pass 'em along- for what its worth, these are some things that i've been learning and wrestling with lately...
(Solitude>Community>Ministry)
2-Youth culture of today reflects diminishing family definition and values, basic longings of identity, and the rapid rise of technology. Camp’s struggle of accommodating vs. separating from culture must find culturally-relevant ways to reach youth with the gospel contextually yet without compromise.
4-Parents are God’s primary intended human agent for a child’s spiritual formation. The church should become their primary support; camp can play a significant role in support of both parents and the church in a child’s spiritual development. Camp must understand the role of the permanent community in a child’s life (home, church, etc.) and do its best to link the transformation that can happen in a temporary community (camp) back home. Good follow up is essential yet often one of camp’s greatest challenges.
5-Strategic planning for a philosophy of ministry gives intentionality to each program within it. To the extent that one can articulate both the big picture vision and practical goals to get there, he will be most resourceful with time, money, energy, and resources. Even the most mundane aspects of a ministry ought to be directed toward common goals; everyone plays a significant role and must always be attentive to where God is already at work and how to follow Him in obedient faith.
6-It is important that the relationship between the church and the parachurch (to which the camp belongs) is clearly defined, their purposes unified yet unique. Christ established the church as His primary agent for cosmic reconciliation; the parachurch exists to serve and support the church in unique and dynamic ways.
7-The tension between business and ministry must constantly be addressed in any ministry, for this balance will determine everything from the ultimate goal to hiring and marketing strategies. There must be a certain level of professionalism in the management of a camp or ministry, yet not to the detriment of the eternal goals and purposes of a ministry. This can get tricky as government regulations become stricter and cause greater stress for a ministry to remain committed to its intended purpose with single-minded integrity.
8-The conventional approach to discerning the will of God has often resulted in the fear that we might “miss” God’s will because we choose one option over another. However, we can gain confidence by trusting in the sovereignty of God and that His will often might be discovered only as we look back and see that our attempts to be faithful to glorify God in each opportunity we have are often His greatest purposes for our lives.
9-A child’s spiritual formation might be much more of a process than the “point of conversion” that we often insist upon. Praying the “sinner’s prayer” can be a step in the process of sanctification, but must accompany the life-long commitment of becoming more like Christ- the journey of discipleship. This issue becomes important in camp ministry and many questions remain, for ultimately it is only God who knows the heart.
10-Leadership development focuses primarily on character development, and is most effectively learned and challenged by experience. It is a continuous cycle of learning involving humility, vulnerability, risk-taking, overcoming failure, vision-casting and grace. A good leader should assume the role of equipper, empowering others to minister in strategic ways as well. The church also holds significant responsibility to equip and prepare its body for works of service.
...so now we start summer training- i'll explain more next time...
here are some pictures of what's been going on lately:
this is when we went for our weekly Sunday afternoon walk and found a cranberry bog (who knew that Wisconsin is like the second largest producer of cranberries?), and so we ate some. obviously a good idea!
and then we went to downtown Chicago to do the pizza thing, and were kinda ridiculous (see picture to the right...we don't get out much :) it was quite a fun city!

